in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful.
the more mind-obliteratingly stupid we find you, the more descriptive we get. “bless your precious, sweet, mama-loving heart” means we’re not 100% certain how you possess enough intelligence to draw breath.
I remember when I thought people in their 20’s were adults. Now all of my friends are in their 20’s and everybody is just kind of fumbling around bumping into each other, trying to figure out where the free food is
I’m just picturing a bunch of blindfolded people bumping into each other and trying to find a table of free food. A few are probably sniffing the air.
today in religion we were talking about angels and our religion teacher said whoever can name the most angels gets five extra credit points on the test and all these kids tried and they only named like two but when I went I named nine and my teacher started to cry because she thought I was this huge religion and angel lover when really I just know the angels names from supernatural
4. Stare off in to spare for at least 4 consecutive hours questioning politics, media, authority figures and humanity as a whole until your entire perspective of social structure comes crumbling down around you and you wander about reality suddenly aware of your insignificance, ignorance and cattle-like demeanour
this just in: fox news doesn’t like the lego movie because apparently it teaches kids that big businesses are bad and also the villain ‘looks a little bit like mitt romney’. really, what more reason do you need to go watch it now